Mind at ease

I'm in the stage where, I feel like I've grown up so much. I'm not the immature Leon that everyone knew. I'm the 'grown up Leon' that everyone wants to me to be - at least what my parents want me to be. I've made plans to move out. I've been thinking about this forever. I don't think anyone of you might know this but, life's been tough lately. As stupid as it sounds, everything's different now, and sometimes you can't even trust your own family members. I can say this because I sometimes feel used; even by the closest people I've HAD.

Lately, I've been hanging out with a different a crowd. A crowd that has helped me grow up. It's not always about the best parties you're going to or the kinda drugs you did over the weekend anymore. Mind at ease, I can definitely say. But most importantly, mind on my money. I don't care about relationships or anything else in between, I wanna get that paper.

Notice that I've been using, the word "I" a lot throughout this entry? I have finally realized that I have to love myself before loving others, I don't care about putting my happiness before others anymore. I want to do me, and I want myself to be happy first.

A lot has happened over the Summer and Fall, with school being out of the way for past 2 semesters, I feel that I need go back to school now. I actually miss studying, I miss writing papers, I miss reading textbooks. I'm not lying. Reality is setting back into place, with one thing on my mind. Determination. I've failed, I've cried, I've been heart broken, now all I know is that I need to succeed.

I'm happy to say one thing. Maturity comes with age and experience. No matter how upset or frustrated I get at myself for failing, I know that one day I'll pick myself back up and walk this road with success.


I know I can do it. Priorities have changed and so has life.


"Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst."

In with the new, out with the old.

There are times where i feel like i need a girlfriend. Someone that will keep me company for hours, days, etc. And there are also times where i feel like a girl will only hold me back to the things that i want to do. I miss how i used to always have someone to talk to. Either way, there's always "pros and cons" to a relationship, it doesn't even have to be a boyfriend/girlfriend kinda thing.

When it comes, it will come. Just keep waiting, be patient, don't settle for less and remember what you're worth.



Out

Been a while....


too busy for this shit.



Holla whenever i wanna.

Dam

If only if i was still with you... Youd make me a better person. Dam

I have never wanted to punch someone so hard in the face before...


you deserve it.

OMFG

WOW, this guy thinks hes soo fucking cool...
just ruined my night..


K back to Caprice, fuck pop opera

I'm just waiting for World War 3 to happen anytime now...

I need me a SWISHERRR

WASSUP VANCITY?

That I DONT GIVE A FUCK lifestyle....

Keep doing you, and keep it real guys.

GOOD BYE MS.STARFISH

Title says it all, good by ms.starfish. SO this starfish is outta my life. I think i've been told that i can do better about a million times now, there's no doubt to that. She wasn't that good looking anyway. It's so pointless trying to apologize and fix things when the receiving end, doesn't bother putting effort into it. Whatever she's full of bullshit. I don't need a little "princess" in my life.

COOOL

SO i heard...

So i heard you were a slut. I almost believe it now.

You were a waste of my time.


Bye.

Worth my time

If i think you're worth my time, i'll talk to you. Other then that, i have nothing else to say. Let's just hope that you're one of those people that is actually worth my time.

Untitled

Today, i looked in the mirror and i saw a guy that's aging quite quickly. I hate to say this but i feel like i'm aging faster then i thought i would. You can't define someone's age by asking how old they really are, you define their age by their life experience and knowledge. Quite ironic eh? Yeah i'm 19, but i feel like i've grown up too quickly, i'm no longer as immature as i used to be. Seeing the changes recently, i've realized that i should go on a hiatus from everyone. I want to figure out what i'm really all about, to chase my dreams, to get that paper and see what life has to offer. No girls, no parties, k i lied, maybe a few, but trying to stay away from that scene. I'm debating whether i should drop out of school for a year and get back to it later on, it's a huge risk, but what's life without taking a risk? All my life, i did things to make people happy, to satisfy them, what i wore everyday to school, how i looked and what i say. It's complete bullshit. I'm not saying that i was fake before, what i meant was i should do things that make myself happy. My parents aren't going to be very happy, when i tell them this, hopefully i'll have enough courage to tell them everything that's going on. Com'on, they're chinese, they're the typical asian parents that you would see everywhere. "We want you to see you succeed, but before all that shit, get a degree first and then we can talk."
I hate it. I wish i was white.

For now, i'll do me, i'll do everything i possibly can but don't blame me one day if i do fail. That bittersweet thought has come to a conclusion, i'm out of here.

PIZZZZZ OUT

I get lonely too.

You tell me you love me, you tell me you mean it, but there's something holding you back from getting to me. I appreciate all the things you've done for me, but is it really about your ex? I'm going to be real with you. I like you a lot too, and maybe i didn't mean all the "ilu" that i tell yeah, but deep down, i sometimes just don't know how to express my feelings. Everything's going well, but yet there's something holding you back from me. How am i suppose to feel right now? Is it supposed to mind fuck me?

I'll give you all the space you'll ever need, just know that i'll be there when you need me the most.


Leon.

What happens in that bedroom stays in the bedroom.

Hoping onto that party scene.

And you bitches better come out for my bday.

Nuff said.

Oh My God.

I can't believe i made a girl cry infront of me. I feel terrible.

I'm 19 and i'm here to have fun, so fuck your shit.

I'm not going to lie, i'm 19 as of this moment, and you're all wondering, "Shouldn't you be happy?!" The answer is, NO. I'm not happy one bit. I think it's the things that are holding me back in life, the bullshit, the drama, it wears you down after a while, no matter how much of a "rock" you are, you'll eventually deteriorate. So i found myself a new girl that i'm currently seeing. She's dope, i'm quite happy when i'm around her, but i'm scared the same thing might happen. Call me captain asshoe, i don't give a fuck, but i might not love you as much as you love me, not trying to be cocky. Yes, i tell you i love you, but all in reality, how can you really love someone in such a short amount of time? You can fall for someone in a matter of seconds, it ain't the same when it comes to love though. Love is a strong word, i'd rather not use it unless i really mean it. Maybe, i do love you, but it'll only be a matter of time until i really mean it with my fullest intentions. I never thought i'd be calling you my girl so soon, and yes i do get intimidated easily around your friends. When your gut feelings tell you that you should just let it all out and have the time of your life, you always wonder, "why is something holding you back?" I'm entering my last year of being a "teenager" and it's quite scary becoming an adult. We can be having kids by now, and start a family, but fuck that.
I'm 19, and i'm here to have fun, so fuck your shit. I'll behave like i say i do, but if anything goes wrong, blame the alcohol, not me. Blame captain asshoe, not me.

I'm private cheng, what's your name?

Happy mother fucking birthday.

I'm sad.

I sometimes don't understand how a person can fall inlove with you so quickly, it seems so easy but at the same time, you ask yourself "did you have game?" or "is she actually that easy?" I really wanna believe that i have game, then again, every girl's different, they fall for you for the weirdest reasons sometimes. So today she gave me this note, telling me all this "ish" and i was really surprised at how sincere it looked. I was really convinced that she may actually be that girl, that girl that might be there for "longterm." So far, everything's going great, but wait till the arguments starts settling in, then we'll see if it's for "longterm." I generally like to stick to my promises, but in all honesty, i'm going to have to see if it's worth "waiting for." I better be right.

tumblar

moving onto tumblrrr...


FIND ME @ HTTP://leeoonn.tumblr.com

PEACE

Impossible.

I'm pretty happy to say i finally found "her".

I did it. LOL, feels like a life accomplishment if ya'll know what i mean right? It's funny how things come and go, you leave one, you find one. It all works out. I'm glad i made the right choices, so much more to life to just stick around and be with someone i know ill never get far with.

It's for real guys. Pictures to come la.