Sigh....... I'm starting to doubt myself..
Will i still hang out with the people i hang out with at school when we graduate?
Will things heal itself once high school's over?
I can almost say that no to both questions. Time can't heal anything, we can only heal things when things are done and taken into consideration. There has been a lot of drama around my surroundings lately that i've been trying to avoid for the past few months and it just seems to keep getting to me. Yeah you can say yeah whatever life suxsss ballzorz dealz withz itz, but how do you really deal with it? I mean you can say friends come and go, make new ones, blah blah blah, i think it's the opposite, university you'll meet some new people but it's soo fast pace, thatits harder to actually meet people(according to what a lot of ppl said). K well meeting is easy, building up a friendship is harder.. And you know when you're in grade 12 you have a fixed group of friends already, those self proclaimed "best buddies" that have come and gone.... it feels like i'm just repeating grade 8 all over again.... sigh
Today at work experience was my last day however throughout the whole week i was like " Dayum this shit is soo boring." However if i didn't do this work experience, it might be even more boring, i mean i go out almost every weekend during school anyway. If i did that every single day within 1 week, thatd be like taking the fun away, I can tell most of you will be like WTF HELLZ NO YOU GOT IT WRONG BOY. But whatever thats my opinion, and i'm speaking my own words, yeah i did have to wake up at like 7.30 in the morning while everyone slept in atleast until noon, but all i did was jsut sit at home while most of you probably caught up with all your frds and went out everyday, so it's pretty equal. I'm starting to miss work experience already, everyone was really nice however everyone just does their own thing it felt like i was in my own little world for the past week, i barely had any calls from anyone, barely any text and if someone texted i ignored it. It felt good, it was like a weekend get away, when i was bored on my lunch break id stare out the window(from starbucks). Kerrisdale you know the deal already, hot gals everywhere i tell you. Fantasizing was pretty fun....
Sigh, it reallly does suck all these yearssssss in highschool you were just looking for companionship(the perfect girl), you know you wont always find the perfect girl... you gotta make it the perfect girl.. the perfect relationship just doesn't come to you. However, i justt don't seem to be having any luck whatsoever. I hopeeeee the whole Pick-UP game works when i start to chill with Alan more LOL. My proclaimed pua artist buddy.
I don't know whats wrong with me lately, but i think i'm lacking confidence in myself now... it's hard to gain confidence when you've failed so many times....... sometimes i think i'll be that next 40yr old virgin...Thing's just dont come soo easy anymore...
Sorry for the long post but i had to get this off my head.. because " it's all in my head... " This springbreak was actually a good springbreak even though it i felt like i had somewaht wasted it. I thought it all through..... I'm convinced that i've grown up within this little "get-a-way" of mine, i've finally felt much more mature.........
So the last day i finally got to wear stuff that was more relaxing...
I really need to learn how to smile for once.
;)
And my reward......... from work experience....
Even though its only $50, i was expecting nothing back in return.
It wasn't that only $50 that made me happy about this whole "experience" but what i gained from it.
LC21z outz.
