I hate my life right now.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Sorry Mom and Dad, but i chose not to go to school this semester because i really wanted some time off to think about the shit i need to do in my life. I want to finish basic training for army so i'm going away for a month, i want to explore and learn more about life. But why the fuck did you have to cut off my cellphone line? Just because i'm not going to school? It's not a legitimate reason, and i know i'm wasting some time right now by not going to school, but i have no motivation or concentration to do continue right now, so i'm going to postpone it to next semester. You won't understand how i feel right now, but i fucking hate your guts, you're always like this to me. I fucking hate you so much, if i see you even at the mall, don't say hi to me because you don't deserve to be called my mother. You're not understanding at all, you turn all the people on my side against me. First you kick me out and we barely even see each other anymore, now you're turning everyone against me making it seem like i'm the one that's doing all the wrongs. You can take everything i have but, one thing you can't take away is my pride. Remember you're my step mother, you're not the who gave me birth and i used to look up to you but i finally realized that you're one manipulative bitch. And you really wanna know why i hate coming home everyday now? It's because my grandparents always bitch at me every night that i come home, and that every night i can't sleep, i blame you. You're the one that gives them another reason to bitch at me for nothing. Hate me or love me, i don't care, let me know when you finally understand how i feel for once.

Your son,
Leon.

=)

"It takes a lot to love someone, but it takes a lot more to love yourself; and sometimes loving yourself is better than relying on someone else to love you back the way you want, the way you deserve to be loved back." - anonymous



Amen to that. Sometimes you're truly better off on your own, doing the things you like, and the things you want without any restrictions or limitations. A life made simple once again. I'm lovin' it.

i know what i want.

I made my decision, steeze over girls.

And that's foh sho.

Stack that paper and cop those new ish. And yes i know i'm materialistic, you don't have to remind me.

Goals

Hm, so i've been thinking about my goals for the next few months and years, i thought i'd jot them down so i don't forget...

- become a corporal by next year, fuck the private cheng, it's gon be corporal cheng ;)
- pass training this july
- get a tattoo maybe in august
- gain 15-20 lbs by the end of the year, so 185, hopefully
- gain some more brownie points from her ;)
- cop that dope boy fresh summer gear
- cop that drivers license
- stack that fat dough
- Stop getting C- only C's and above plz.
- no more emo thoughts, gain those happy points

and that's all i can think of from the top of my head for now.

What am i doing?

"What am i doing? Oh yeah, that's right. I'm doing me, I'm doing me, just living life right now. And imma do this till it's over, but it's far from over. Yeah."

So the weather sucks right now in Vancouver, it's way too inconsistent. And i believe that it really determines our mood for the day, people seem to be happier when it's sunny. Asides from that i don't have much to say, just doing me and living on with life. April wasn't my month, that's all i can say, it was far from being good. I'm happy to say that i'm back onto the road of redemption, and working my way up there again. Figuring out what a person really want is hard, so let's just say that we take another break and let things roll on it's own, not going to force anything anymore.

The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you've been used and lied to. And that's exactly what i feel like right now. People that aren't being straight up and just saying all that "stuck up" shit to you but from behind they're talking so much trash. Status and reputation.

I need to prepare for this shit mentally, because whatever happens, happens.
Get on it.

what would you prefer?

Sigh. I can't help but wait.
Time to suffer the consequences.

Add me on bbm, pin: 213F83DD

Cheng is out.

All about you..

Looking back on the things that we did and when i see how things are right now, it hurts to say that it really seems like closure. Breaking every rule of the game, just to see how things would work out, DID NOT work out unfortunately. So for the next one, i will not break the rule, not even once. And for all those who helped me throughout this rollercoaster ride, you have earned the rights to laugh in my face. No regrets. I'm happy to say that, things ended this way, or else i'd be still giving myself false hope. "I'm glad that you didn't fall inlove me." A very complete yet, meaningful quote. That sums up my entry. I'm not disappointed at all this time, i learned from my biggest mistakes, and i'll do better next time.

I'm happy, now that you're happy with your life.

Private cheng is out, time to do my tax returns.