S'all good.

I know you have your insecurities, and how you feel about guys. I can see the pain within your eyes, you smoke a lot of dope to hope that you can touch the sky.
Yanno, this is the deal. I tried so hard to make everything work and going out of my way just to help you do things, i feel like you don't appreciate me for the things i do, you don't understand how i function. "I'm so done with trying, if you want me in your life, let me know." As mad as i seem right now, i have every reason to be mad, i hate showing my emotions, i was told by a lot of people that i hide my emotions very well, i guess you are right, i am really emotional when it comes to you. I can't help it but to be negative about the situation. When people talk and you hear things that you don't want to hear, it makes you wanna work even harder to fight for it, to prove them that they're wrong and to show them that it was worth it in the end. In the end, people are always gonna talk trash whether if it was true or not, stick to how you feel, and be real with yourself.

Whatever happens, happens, but thanks for everything, it was worth it all even if it doesn't happen.

I could only remember that one day where everything went so well i thought i could hit 3rd base, HA i'm joking but it was such a good day for me, i felt like i was on top of the world. Than came along problems that i would have never foreshadowed, i never thought these problems would come around and haunt me for the next few months. I guess we learn from our mistakes and we try to not make those mistakes twice, but it seems like that i always make the same mistakes over and over again. I'll learn in time that pushing things away isn't always ideal. It's a personal experience that i'll never forget, and i think i just learned something new today. It sucks, love sucks, "love can make the strongest man in the world go on his knees." "The point in being in a relationship is to enjoy each other's company, is to support each other when they need it most." Sometimes, things can't be controlled, and things might happen faster than expected, but know this, if you know you gave it your all and it doesn't work out in the end, at least you know you tried to make everything go "smooth."
Things are truly out of your reach, when you know nothing works. I'm tired, i'm exhausted, physically and mentally. There's too much shit going on in my head and i've been experiencing way too many restless nights. Please let me know it will work out so i can have a good night sleep.