So today i donated some blood, was pretty fun actually, and it was pretty quick too. So as we were getting called up, there was a lady and her name was "MARY JANE" LOLLOLOL... Hella funny.

Anticipating this weekend.
I remember someone telling that, "If you can pick her up, you can drop her down." So true, so true. Let things be, if it doesn't come, than just let yourself free. But remember, take risks. If you don't take these kind of risks in life, than its a life that's not worth livin'.

Same shit. Just another day.

Keep livin' a dream, but refuse to live a lie. I want to get my life back on track. How could this life that was made so simple become so hard to live in? I'm not going to lie, i've been feeling like crying the past few days, but i couldn't. I don't know why i can't because i feel really heartless lately, no emotions, no feelings....
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice." I chose to suffer. I hate staying at home, i hate coming home even if it was really late. Ever since i moved away from my family, and started living with my grandparents again, it wasn't the same. I get too deep in my thoughts when i sit at home, with nothing to do. I miss the way things used to be back at 'home'. I miss 'home.' I miss my 'sisters.' I miss my 'dog.' I miss my 'parents.'




If he loves you girl he'll be there

Where are you now? When i need you the the most. Why don't do you take my hand, i wanna be close. Talk my hand and walk with me. Where are you now?

epic fail.

There was a point in time, where i felt like that i failed in life. I never met my parent's standards, i didn't have any "real" friends who were there for me, and worse of all i didn't believe in myself. It was hard. Life was hard. It was hard for me to fit in, and whenever i felt like i was "almost at home" i had to go back to square one again, make new friends and talk to different people. I believe we loose and gain friends over time, but sometimes "gaining" a real friend takes a lot of hard work and bonding( NO HOMO). It's funny how we talk to this one person for a while and than it fades, thinking that they were your friend the whole time, these people never last. And bumping into old friends, and after that encounter, you guys start talking again, that shit is funny. It's hard trusting people nowadays, sometimes we don't realize that we're gossiping, until things get bad and it backfires. So identify yourself and play your roles, and lastly stay real. Fakes are gross.

Keep doin' yah thang boi.

Identify yourself....

Till this day, i don't know what i'm even trying to accomplish in life, i have too many goals, but yet i can't seem to lay an eye on one thing that i really want to do, it's hard. I see so many things in life that i probably would have never seen probably like 6months ago. I hate it, how i realize so many things could have went different and probably for the better. But that's life. We all know our roles in society, and we all have our own lives to live. When you know that things just don't go the way it should go, make it better, fix it up, patch it up. Keep working at it, no matter how bad the situation is, it'll work out in the end if you put all your effort into it. You'll know that you didn't put enough effort in it when things are actually possible. As one would say, "We learn new things everyday." It's my new moto now, i believe that is true, we learn more about ourselves everyday. Sometimes we hear shit we don't like, regardless of what you hear, ignore that shit yeo. The more you listen to things you don't want to hear, the more it going to bother you, it's unnecessary stress that we stress over. Then again, some things are out of our reach. So for the people that are constantly unhappy about their lives because how they look or what they lack, think about the people that have to live with "battle scars" for the rest of their life, whether it could be a loss of a member in the family, a rough life, or anything that goes along those lines. Quit your whining, and just keep living life. Be happy, be grateful that you're alive. Don't let the little things bother you in life and keep moving forward.

Hate it or love it, this is the real deal, accept it or not, that's for you to decide, but i know i got shit to do, now let's make it happen.

Real talk.


"Keep hatin' on me, because i don't give a FUCK."


OUT

RIP

April 22, 1964 - Feb 16, 1997

Wow, it's almost your birthday. It's been 13 years since you've left. I'm doing fine, but i wonder how you're doing...

Sigh...

JU55 B14Z3

I felt so helpless, that one night. I saw those burning flames within your eyes, not knowing what to say or do. It's so obvious that you were mad. I was scared, i couldn't think properly. We got onto the skytrain, you sat in front of me. I could see you peaking at me every few seconds from the window reflection. I knew you wanted to say something, but you couldn't quite spit it out. I didn't know what you wanted to say, and i was scared to approach you, you looked hella fierce. I can tell why you're so mad. It was my fault, you couldn't even speak a word to me, that's when i knew things were really bad. "Please calm down," i thought to myself. You're really mad, i know. I know it all, you have every reason to be mad. Tell me how i can apologize to you, you looked way too mean to be talking to anyone. Tell me that you're doing okay.


I'm sorry.

I really wanna blur my thoughts, and not think about it anymore, but i can't. I can't see that look on your face without feeling a bit torn up inside.