You are....

You are the one,
You are the girl,
You are that special girl,
You are the girl that makes me smile,
You are the girl that makes me do crazy things that i've never done before,
You are the girl that makes me think about life,
You are the girl that is there for me,
You are the girl that makes me feel good about myself regardless of my flaws,
You are the girl that doesn't care about what others think,
You are the girl that i can talk to,
You are the girl whom tries so hard to make me laugh, in the end it works,
You are the girl that share the same interests,
You are the girl that i'm crazy over,
You are the girl in my dreams (no homo),
You are that very special girl,
You are special to me,
You are the girl.
Now, will you be my girl?

dam.

After a night from good to bad, i've realized that i need you in my life and that you're more than what i'm asking for in a girl already. Don't take me wrong, i didn't mean to make you mad or anything, i guess it was the misconceptions that made us feel distanced, but after all they are misconceptions, and that shouldn't interfere with what we were doing. "I don't want my love to go to waste."

Where did you go?

I remembered back in the day where everything used to be soo chill, and calm, and now i'm sorta likin' the "fast life shit," if ya' know what i mean. So it's been 2 weeks since school started and i haven't even touched any homework or any readings whatsoever. Why? because i have no motivation to do well in school or to even go to school anymore. I gues you can call it emotionally stressed out. The last few nights has been really chill, didn't hang out all that much actually, just did my own shit and met up with people randomly and calling out the new hang outs.

Here i am, still trying to find my own identity of who i really am, and what i really want in life. Today, i was doing first aid training with my army buddies, and during lunch, one of them told me he went on tour(afghanistan and up in the north somewhere) twice. He was telling how he made $5k a month as a corporal and how it's hella chill there, but be prepared to work your asses off. And now what? I'm considering to go overseas, one tour is approximately 6months with 6months of pre-deployment training, which isn't all that bad either. Perhaps maybe after 6months i come back home, everything will be different because i'm looking for a change. People are so full of shit nowadays, i don't know who to trust and where to start.

For now, i'm going to try in school because i don't my money to go to waste, and maybe work my way around people. I've learned to be lenient, because i use to have the biggest " I don't give a fuck" attitude towards people and it wasn't smart.

In conclusion, i'll just keep doing my own shit and you can do your thing, but remember i'll be there when you need me because you have first dibs to my shoulders. =)

Emo State of Mind

One day, maybe one day, we can fly away together and leave this world filled with shit. It is so true when i say that all the bad things happen all at once. Words can't describe what i feel like right now. It's been so long that you've left me, lately i've been thinking about how you could make this world a better place for me, trying to tell you how much i miss you, but i don't think i can, at least not anymore. I wish you were there to see me graduate, to guide me through my days, and hopefully make you proud. I miss you.




Soldier, keep your head high, look proud, even through the rainiest, coldest and darkest weather.

Maybe.. just maybe..

If the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more, would i still have you?



--edit

Do you remember the days where, it used to be chill and stress free? The days that brought us back when we had nothing to care about, but playing with legos and perhaps barbies if you were tryna get the girls in kindergarten. Where did all this shit go to? Sometimes it doesn't end up the way you want it to, but that's okay, countless heartbreaks just makes a person stronger, regardless of the situation. I could remember when i first approached a girl, i stumbled, i couldn't think straight and there were a few dozens of those sleepless nights, just thinking about how to make this situation a lot better. Maybe thinking about how to ask her out on a date, thinking about what to say the next day, maybe tryna figure out what she's thinking in her head.
In the end it was always disappointment, knowing that you couldn't be with her, maybe she had another guy in mind, but you were always there for her. Yes that was me, the kid who always tried to make an approach, but failed miserably. And now, i put on that asshole front, just to make myself feel like i can do this. You may say that i try too hard, but i don't care what you say, what matters to me is that if i can get this right. I don't mind if i fail 12312321312 times, as long as i pass once, i'll be happy. I know for a fact that it was for real, maybe if i gave it some time we'd both end up thinking differently. This sucks but i have to get this right. The worse part is giving myself false hope. And there you have it, the story of my life.

hey.

Hey Girl, i'm doing this for your own good, but fun's over. Take it easy and maybe call me up when you're not that busy with your life anddddd all that shit going on in your life, because it seems like you don't know what you want. I've been noticing that jealousy was an issue for you, and i should of known better. To be honest, i don't know what i want either. I guess that we both live different lifestyles and it's too complicated to comprehend with one another, it sucks but seee you around.

Straight up. You don't know if your bros or the hoes are being true to you until they have proven themselves to you, so nigguhs don't go around calling each other bros when they're just a dick that keeps talking trash about you and for em' hoes, don't go around calling them dicks, 'babes' when that shit means notin'. Gotta keep this ish real, and just be yourselves.

nigguhz bounce.

Back to square one.

Alright, let's break down my day. So today hung out with ayex for a bit, and than went to some ghetto ass japanese restaurant on kingsway and knight, or around there. So what happened was a pair of undercover cops came in, and was suspecting underage drinking, but that wasn't the case, they were more worried about gambling because we had dices and all that jazz to do with drinking games. Lame sauce, and people who ate with us were cheapasses, and people sitting at our table over paid a shit load, because some people didn't pay enough. Nonetheless, we got our food just when we were about to leave, which was whack as fuck cause it was sooo slow.
No offense, andrea, but today had to be one of the bunkest days of 2010. END RANT.


Besides the fact that i'm kinda mad about a bunk day, a lot of shit has come up, and i'd rather not mention it, thinking about it gets me kinda cranky. And once again, for the 123123121th time, i apologize to those that have experienced my "PMS."

Leon out.